Lying in a hospital bed gives you plenty of time to think — and to listen.
As I listened to the men around me, I realised how easily our prejudices reveal themselves.
One man kept snorting his nose. At first, I found it irritating — almost unbearable. Then I remembered being told as a child never to do that, to blow my nose instead.
That simple instruction had created a boundary that later became judgement. My inner child was screaming, “Tell him to stop!” because I wasn’t allowed to do it.
Out of curiosity, I looked it up — and discovered that many experts say snorting can actually be safer than blowing your nose!
I still didn’t like the sound, but at least it no longer had power over me.
Then there was another man constantly on his phone. I could hear both sides of his conversations and it felt intrusive. “Why can’t he just be quiet like me?” I thought.
Yet if it had been a pub, I’d have accepted it as part of the atmosphere.
Again, my own boundaries were shaping my reaction. In hospital, there are no agreed “rules of behaviour” — it’s a melting pot of personalities and cultures. The funny thing is, he spoke another language, so I couldn’t even understand the conversation… but if I had, I’d probably have formed an opinion about that too!
And of course, there was the man who complained endlessly about the food, another who pressed the nurse call button every five minutes, and one who loudly passed wind without ever saying “pardon me”.
Every one of them became a mirror, reflecting my learned boundaries and beliefs — my programming.
In truth, these small irritations are no different to what we experience in daily life.
We live in a world of mixed cultures, backgrounds and behaviours, and each of us carries unseen prejudices shaped by our past. Recognising them isn’t comfortable, but it’s the first step towards freedom.
That’s what my book, “How to Break Free from Fear – The Power of Choice,” is all about — understanding the origins of our thoughts, our reactions, and the power we have to change them
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